8. A PRODUCER DISCOURAGED ME FROM PLAYING A COP: A "concerned acquaintance" told me I was "too tiny"to play a cop and she worried people might laugh at me.
9. MY ACTING TEACHER JIM PARRACK HELPED OUT BIG TIME: Not only is he one of the finest acting instructors (with his partner Andrea Dantas), he took the time and sat down in a cramped deli with me and my cast, broke down my script and pointed out the significance of each moment. During the time he sat with us I was terrified because of my respect for him. It would like John Steinbeck sitting down and giving positive and supportive notes on a script. Or perhaps taking a nuclear weapon to a fist fight. Not once did he belittle the project or make me feel like this short was nothing short of terrific work. He also encouraged me to direct it which I'm forever grateful for.
10.THIS MOVIE HAS MADE ME MORE ENGAGED WITH CURRENT EVENTS: With my character being a cop I've been very sensitive to what is happening in America right now.
I've kept my mouth shut on the whole #blacklivesmatter and police situation. On FB and Twitter it's very easy to be an armchair political expert but when it comes to people's real lives (not just on the screen), the consequences are very real. It's too simple to see a 30 second post on Facebook and send out more anger.
How would I feel if someone who looked like me was being killed on a daily basis? How would I feel if I was risking my life to serve and protect people but was spit on when I was walking down the street? As an artist and human being I grapple with these questions and try to do so without judgement.
I've had positive experiences with cops and I've had people close to me who have been locked up. I see the good and bad.
The way I look at it is:
1. Both sides are hurting tremendously.
2. I'm not going to jump to knee-jerk conclusions.
3. Healing needs to be done.
I spoke to someone I consider my Dharma teacher, she is a meditation teacher and she had this to say:
"It is very emotional for many people and since we have avoided it for so long, we have not cultivated the skills needed to discuss and think about it honestly and constructively. As anything we start doing with very little experience, it will be messy and frustrating for many in the beginning. I think if we can recognize that, we will be more willing to let this messy phase take its course so that we can get to the next phase when more people are convinced of the need to have genuine conversations about this very important issue.